I made an ASS out of myself while getting a massag

**Cuda** · February 27th, 2002, 05:01 PM

It's RACK worthy.

Giovanni, she was probably just off the boat from Asia & didn't understand english too well- or maybe she thought you were a cop

**Van [down by the river]** · February 27th, 2002, 05:02 PM

The more I read 80s Man the more I get to wondering which oddball cable channels-subscriptions he gets that enable him to constantly come up with these tales of low self esteem woe and ineptitude....

Dude's constantly describing American Pie VII years before it's even hit the theaters...

Whatever. Keep it up Corey Feldman, the reading's always worthwile...

**MDTerrapins** · February 27th, 2002, 05:03 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor="#DDDDDD"><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Van:
The more I read 80s Man the more I get to wondering which oddball cable channels-subscriptions he gets that enable him to constantly come up with these tales of low self esteem woe and ineptitude....</font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>

Don't you mean self of steam? forums

**D-Dogg** · February 27th, 2002, 06:57 PM

That was one of the better T8M efforts in a long while.

RACK!!

American Pie VII...that's rackable too Van.

**Bill-DC** · February 27th, 2002, 06:58 PM

I can't stop laughing. Rack this! Props for the effort though. I'm impressed.

Bill-DC

<font color="#330033" size="1">[ February 27, 2002 02:59 PM: Message edited by: Bill-DC ]</font>

**Jsc810** · February 27th, 2002, 07:23 PM

Rack. That's the quality that puts HIM in the top 10 lists.

**Earl Grey** · February 27th, 2002, 07:44 PM

RACK you once again T8M! I just don't understand why you don't have as many stars as a general of your caliber should have! forums

**The 80's Man** · February 28th, 2002, 04:17 AM

I went to that hair salon/manicure/massage/tanning place yesterday that I was telling you fukkers about. I had just been in there for a hairtrim (to get my Jared-like curly hair fixed up. Fukk it, I'll admit that I have a Jared haircut). Now this place is loaded with Asian broads. The one who cut my hair recognized me. I asked how much a massage was and then went into the back room and closed the door and the pretty good-looking yet semi-chunky Asian told me to get down to my undies. I did and then I lie on the table and she put a little towel over my ass. She was talking to me and asking some questions and touching me all over my back. When she got to my lower back, I popped a wood and then reached into my undies and pulled out a 50 dollar bill. She asked what I was doing, and I shot her a Kirk Cameron grin of innocence and said, "Here's for a little errrrr extra errr massaging."
She was VERY confused and didn't take the money.
"Too much tip!" she said.
"No...." I said "how about a little EXTRA massage?"
"What?"
"You know.." I said.
"Extra massage?"
"Errrr..." I couldn't think of how to say it, so I pulled out the Blair reference...
"My Meat whistle."
THe meltdown had begun, and I was beginning to think that they didn't give handjobs here.
She looked VERY shocked and stepped backwards.
"I have a boner, you know, so...." I was pretty fukkin scared at this point, but my johnson was doing all the talking.
She said, "Ah, no no....no touch the privates. Only top part of bottom."
I threw the towel off and jumped up, bone exposed, and started throwing my pants on quickly and chucking on my shoes. I grabbed my shirt and yelled, "Shoobeedoobeedoooooo!" at her and ran out.
My unbuckled belt was flopping around and I was running out bare-chested without paying. The chick at the front counter goes, "SIR!" I yelled, "I left my money in my car!" and hopped in my car and drove off. I went to the nearest convenience store and nabbed the last SI Swimsuit issue in stock (divine intervention) and came home and blew my load to the cover model with the big tits. For $6.00 I'll have to jack off to that issue about 12 more times to make it pay off.
FUKK! I was scared that they'd call the police and report me for not paying OR for sexual harrassment. As of today I've gotten no phone calls but I brought a little fake mustache to work in case a cop comes in. I'm scared as fukk right now!
PRetty soon I'll have to find a new hole-in-the-wall asian massage parlor where the massage artists don't wet their panties when I whip out an erect shlong and a 50 dollar bill.
Will there ever be a fukking rainbow?
-Giovanni Peters

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